You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
false alarm. still invincible.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
