The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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