Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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