Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
