My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
