I'm pants shitting drunk right now
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
