3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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