I must be too annoying 4 u.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
