I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize