you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
you had me at cake vodka
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
