i don't like sucking hair
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
