belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
