I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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