and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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