I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize