You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
