sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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