Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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