My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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