he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
