we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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