we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
