Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
