he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
