I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
