How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
