I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
