Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
