that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
