I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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