your thong is hanging out like whoa
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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