ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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