Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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