i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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