I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
