every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
