Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
