His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
