you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
