Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
