If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
they call him Oral-B. enough said
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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