But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
