the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize