i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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