I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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