So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
this is an emotional support booty call
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
