The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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