I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize