Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize