I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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