Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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