please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
