God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
