like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
