i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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