We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
