We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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