Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
