you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
