one two three fourrrrnication!
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
