My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
