im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
