my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i came on her dog
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
