Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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