he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
