i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize