I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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