Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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