just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
