and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
