She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
