been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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