Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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