don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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