If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
