I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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