he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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