I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
you had me at cake vodka
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize