I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
